Text by Thomas Jordansson, Illustration by Catherine Lepage
A man walks into a bar, has a seat and stares lost into the shelves in front of him.
The bartender approaches to take the order.
– What would you like to drink my good sir?
– I don’t know, I am in distress you see. I have just been to the museum of modern art and I don’t know what to do, I can’t make sense of anything. How can you possibly call that art?
The bartender takes a step back, and with his finger on his chin he starts to ponder, perplexed by the question asked. Slowly it dawns on him. And he bursts!
– Tell you what! Let me mix you a Dry Martini…
While he starts preparing the drink he begins to lay out what seems to be a well founded view on the connection between abstract art and the current state of the Dry Martini. He proceeds:
– Abstract art and Dry Martinis are connected on a much deeper level than you might first originally have assumed. Both of them are built on the superior idea of how to achieve perfection. To simplify an idea to the extent that if you take away anything more from its construction it will collapse, and also, following the same idea, if you add anything else it will lose its purity.
As the bartender stirs the Dry Martini he continues.
– Perfection in itself is potentially a problematical word to be using, given that it’s often a state of mind rather that a absolute truth. Perfection according to one individual might differ greatly from another. But I believe that using the word perfection is acceptable within a given framework.
For instance, perfection can be achieved in the concept of shapes such as the Circle. You can’t argue that an ellipse is a perfect circle even if it is a perfectly formed oval which could be viewed as being the result of a compressed circle!. In fact anything less than a perfect circle is in this very state not a circle.
So within the framework of circles perfection exists only because it’s not an opinion; within the confines of the theme given, it becomes an absolute truth.
– I see, perfection can be both a state of absolute truth and at the same time used to understand the uniqueness of personal taste,
Ponders the man. Not acknowledging the response, the bartender pours his concoction in a v-shape martini glass while proceeding his monolog.
– Dry Martinis and abstract art evolved together one might argue, but along on very separate paths of course, not knowing of each other’s journey, only getting a glimpse of each other’s existence through freak meetings in high end art galleries on 103d street of Manhattan or in the hidden galleries of Soho and Paris.
However, they are more intertwined than anyone could have anticipated. Tied together by the culture of the times, the new revolution of the mind that began with the humble camera. “If we can take a perfect copy of reality with a camera, why would we need to keep painting realism?” This sentence should give you a first idea and understanding of of the thinking behind abstract art. In the beginning it was crude yet it spoke of what might come; an evolution that would take the course of a century to finally perfect itself. He serves the man his Dry Martini.
– Much like the early ideas of abstract art the first Dry Martinis were crude and unbalanced yet they spoke of a change to come. A cocktail that would choose its own path in the world of libation and stands for something greater. While most cocktails are built on one similar platform, the Dry Martini takes its own path only referencing itself, building on its direct lineage of predecessors.
This leads to a constant reinvention of itself and thus it will have to evolve and change over time. Much like abstract art, its history was already written long before it achieved its purpose. Its purpose is of course to reach its ultimate state of existence, its perfection.
– So what is the perfect state of abstract art and has it been conceptualised?
The man asks with burning intrigue, while he takes a first sip of the drink.
– Well, the perfect state of abstract art is to become so abstract, so inherently abstract that it will no longer be relatable. While for instance Kandinsky did a superb job, his art still had bits and pieces of figurative motives and a huge figurative story in that it represented music in a solid form; Kandinsky painted music, which of course is cool but far from perfect.
Later we saw Mondrian paint perfect, both colourful and white squares separated by black lines. And we have to ask ourselves, is this the final stage of abstract art? Well no, Mondrian left it open for interpretation. It was for the mind to decide. It can for instance be a city from above and given Mondrian’s ties to the futuristic movement hailing the city and the machine above all else it’s not unlikely at all that this is figurative work.
Besides what does the white square represent, are they solids of voids? Too much ambiguousness I’d say. Although Mondrian might not have achieved perfection his paintings opened up the idea of solid geometry.
And as I touched on in the beginning, geometrical shapes are within their own confines perfect. Along comes Malevich with his geometrical inspiring work “White square on white surface” how much better can it get? Geometrical shapes existing with the effect of just being itself. Colour is not important anymore. The problem occurs when you realize that you are in fact looking at an object, a figurative visualisation of the square.
Once you realise this, the work come crumbling down. Malevich big downfall was not the idea but the naming. Calling it a square puts a dot at the end of the sentence and the idea is lost. It becomes physical. The bartender begins to wash his tools and carefully put everything back in order and continues.
– While the art world is evolving towards its perfect state, so is the Dry Martini. But before we get into it we need to know what perfection means for the Dry Martini, given as I stated earlier that every theme or construct must follow its own idea of perfection. Now as you will see the ideas of perfection between abstract art and the dry martini are in fact intertwined. Abstract art chases the idea that simplicity is the key, and so does the Dry Martini. The simpler the cocktail is the more perfect it is, the less clouded so to say. Its very essence depends on it. There is this saying which I find helpful in thinking about these things:
– “Simplify the complex, complicate the simple” which if you follow will spiral you upwards towards a perfect state. The man nods understandingly as the bartender elaborates.
– One question is;, how much can you add to a Dry Martini before it ceases to exist in its pure form? As it turns out, not much. Sure, you can add bitter just like the early Dry Martinis contained. But what else can you add? Sugar? Thats a big no! Juices? Come on! No way!
At the same time we have to explore the other extreme. How much can you take away from the Dry Martini? Without the Vermouth it’s gin neat. With vodka instead of gin… I won’t dignify that with a response. No water? Too stiff! You can then not enjoy the entire palate. No, the state of the dry martini relies on the following; Gin, Vermouth, water and maybe bitter (but preferably not).
– Just like abstract art it’s a fragile beast, and that is why it makes for such an interesting cocktail. It appears simple but when you have taken away all the fog that normally clouds a good drink what you are left with is a cocktail impossible to cheat with. It has to deliver on all levels all of the time; simplicity through complexity.
– So has the dry martini reach its maximum potential yet… is it perfect?
The man groans, as he takes a big swig of his drink.
– Abstract art did at least. When in the 60s and 70s the great abstract artist Olle Beartling painted triangles all of which had a clear beginning but no end, arguing that the canvas was not the end and the triangles would go on forever.
Colourful but only colours you would not associate with anything from nature and thick black lines between them so as not to connect the colours with each other and affect each other.
Even naming the paintings in such a way that you can’t reference it to anything else, like Dene, Deno or Lrux. Truly abstract art. Finally. – The Dry Martini is more complex. Yes, I believe the perfect Dry Martini has been mixed and achieved. We are at the edge of what is possible to tinker with. At one point we went too far even, excluding the vermouth totally which now seems idiotic, but then made sense to a lot of people in the 90s and early 2000.
– A clear blueprint has now been established; a solid ratio between gin and vermouth which works for both the gin and the vermouth you have chosen.Water it down to a good dilution and coolness.
We can still tinker with the details within the details, that’s where the devil rests as they say. For instance, how do you store your gin and vermouth, do you keep you bar tools chilled as well, how cold is cold enough before it will take something away rather than contribute to the drink? There are many things that still need to be taken into consideration.
– But if you ask me if we have achieved perfection? I’d say yes. By who I don’t know and that individual might not know it themselves either. But once it’s been achieved it’s out there, in the cosmos, for all of us to use and enjoy.
The man puts down his empty glass, pays his bill and says thanks to the bartender.
– I will give the museum another shot
– Yes, you do that and thanks for stopping by!
The Abstract Dry Martini
First imagine that the circled foot of your martini glass can extend in all directions infinitely keeping the shape of a perfect circle and the V-shaped cup of the glass will do the same, the only reason they are fixed to a point is because it is incomprehensible for us to process infinity and therefore the illusion of the glass is a coping mechanism for our mind. Gin is allowed as a physical state in the world, in the same way that the colour green is allowed in abstract art;it’s not the product of something, rather the process. For as soon as you add the vermouth it becomes something else, something that did not exist before and therefore unique, Uniqueness within an abstract thought is a good thing. It reveals a new construction. Once you have established that the gin is no longer gin and the vermouth now longer is vermouth but a new compound then you are ready to add water. Add water by means of ice in a stirring glass, acknowledge that the water is merely a vessel which only purpose is to transport flavour, much like the black lines of Mondrian and Beartling. You done? Good. Now pour your eternal representation of reality into your glass of infinity and zest a lemon peel; now throw the peel away. Subjective reality has no place in metaphysical ideas of perfection.
THE AVANT GARDE MARTINI
1 gals of infinity expansion
6cl of physical Gin
60 ml gin
1cl of physical Vermouth
Stirr over the frozen molecules of H2O
Pour into 1 infinity glass
Zest lemon peel
Disregard the peel
Thomas Jordansson is a Swedish bartender, writer and nomad. He runs the blog www.thedriestmartini.blogspot.com
Catherine Lepage is a Canadian painter, designer and illustrator. Co founder of the creative design studio
Ping Pong Ping. One of the greatest globar illustators today, surely is a big honour for us to have her as a collaborator.